Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My Grandmother's Guide To Getting The Fellas, Bauhaus Dopplegangers, & What I've Been Wearing


I saw a terrible preview for the movie Yogi Bear recently. All I took away from it was that Tom Cavanagh looks like the lead singer of Bauhaus. Am I right or am I right?

Press week is here again. Guhhhhhhh. Following are some shots from my friend/co-worker Blythe and I's many back alley photo shoots here at work. I love seeing what other people are wearing, so here's what I've been wearing. My granny would be proud. She firmly believes in dressing up. It's a part of her rules to nabbing the fellas which are as follows:

GRANDMA JOST'S GUIDE TO GETTING THE FELLAS
1. You must be able to cook.
2. You must be able to make a quilt.
3. You must wear heels, dresses and lipstick. Skirts are also acceptable. Pants are rarely acceptable. Heels and lipstick are non-negotiable.

Number 3 is the best, because when I say that heels and lipstick are non-negotiable to her, I mean it. This woman wears wedges while gardening! They're only 1 1/2 inchs max, mind you, but still! It is for this reason that she is 67 and has three boyfriends. Now that I think about it, she's been telling us she's 67 for about 7 years. Either way, she only looks 64. One of her gentlemen suitors is only 55! When she tells us about them she has them neatly compartmentalized by purpose: Bob can dance (she goes dancing every Friday night), but Jesse has money, and John helps her around the farm (she owns a farm and a big beautiful farm house in Bowling Green, KY). 

I'd like to take a moment to clarify that my grandma is by no means "loose." All the fellas are aware of her wish not to settle down this late in life, and I'm pretty sure it makes them even more wild about her. It's that whole "I can't have it so I want it more" thing. No one plays hard to get like this woman. One of the gentlemen bought her tickets to the Kentucky Derby and a hotel suite to stay in. When she was telling my sister and I about it she said, "girls, he didn't even see the inside of the room."And it's all thanks to her 3 rules. Especially rule 3. Which brings me to my recent outfits. I'll probably never reach the level of foxiness of my grandmother because I don't have the discipline, but I try to abide by at least one of the three rules at all times. "Che-Ch-Che-Ch-Check It Out."

- Amy
Listening to: Sam Cooke's "Nothin' Can Change This Love"


[ I love this hat. It's definitely Kentucky Derby worthy. ]

[ Oops... no heels. But they're silver gladiators. That's gotta count for something. ]




[ Grandmother would not approve of this outfit at all. But hey - sometimes rules are for breakin'. ]




3 comments:

  1. My new life goal is to meet your grandma- she sounds like a legend! :]

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  2. Tell gramdma to get with it. In 2011, she could be hot without the quilt! Of course, the rest is mandatory.

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  3. Agreed, JJ haha! I told her the quilt rule needed to be updated. And Blythe, my grandma is such a firecracker. She's hilarious!

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