Top 7 Women Who Give Women a Bad Name

That name being: "Lame". As I said in my last post, I have this prejudice that most women are lame. After some brainstorming I realized that there are in fact a few shining exceptions to my rule (I'm talking about you Brigitte Bardot), but nonetheless I stand firmly by my broad generalization for the most part. Following is my top 7 list of the women that make our sex seem lame. Also, sorry in advance to anyone who loves any of the following women. (I'm talking to you Caroline. I tried to like the Gilmore Girls, but try try as I might it just wouldn't stick!)

1. Alexis Bledel:

Annoying as heck. Affected speech like a two year old. Terrible actress.

2. Heidi Montag:

No explanation required.

3. Cher

Sounds like a tranny trying to sound like a woman, she thinks she's badass, [a leather thong does NOT mean you're bad ass], and her songs get stuck in your head 
and torture you for days.

4. Jessica Simpson

Ditsy and affected. (Why is she always puckering her lips out like that? What is that?) I think she tries to be that dumb. I bet she's really a Rhode's Scholar but thought boys would like her better if she weren't so smart. Personal theory.

5. Paris Hilton:

Started this ridiculous business of keeping a dog in your purse. Wears far too much hot pink seeing as she is NOT Barbie.

6. Sarah Palin

No explanation required.

7. The entire cast of The View

Five women screeching over each other for an hour. [Full body shudder.]

See what I mean?! "You give chicks, a bad name." [To the tune of "You Give Love A Bad Name".] I can't leave you guys on a negative note. So to give you a kick of testosterone in all it's glory, here's a link to an epic video of Pink Floyd doing "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" live. Possibly one of the prettiest songs EVER. I always thought that would make a great tattoo.

- Amy
Listening to: Pink Floyd's Shine on You Crazy Diamond on my blip.fm station. Get one. They're addicting.

Current Muse: Brigitte Bardot

Recent Inspiration: Brigitte Bardot. Those eyes, that hair, those lips... She was sexy and feminine, but cool as ice - all at the same time. Freshman year I saw a picture of her, and immediately after begged my mom to take me to CVS so I could buy liquid eyeliner. These lids of mine have rarely had a day off from the Bardot-inspired liner since then.

I have a long lineup of friends to paint for my series "The Beatniks, The Bastards, and The Saints," and I've started to realize a trend. They're all guys. I have this prejudice that girls are generally... what's a good word for it... lame. I want real bad ass looking people for this series. People who look like they've lived life. People who look like they've experience their fair share of heartaches. People who look like they've given their fair share of heartaches. People who are dangling their feet over society's courtesy line and spitting off the side. When I think of these things, I think of men.

However, it really isn't right to be prejudice against your own sex. So the other day I set about to brainstorm some women that I thought embodied the spirit of my series. She had to be edgy and tough, but still graceful and delicate. No sooner than these adjectives popped into my head did I realize number one on my list was Ms. Bardot. Now I want to tease my hair and go extra thick with the liner tomorrow. How did she get that amazing bed head look? If you see me around town looking like the missing member of Poison, you'll know something went terribly awry with the teasing comb. Wish me luck.

Enjoy these shots of the vixen herself and have a lovely night. I'm off to paint.

-Amy

Listening to: Gaslight Anthem's "The 59 Sound."

{I love the opening lines of this song: "I wonder which song they're going to play when we go? I hope it's something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow." Me too Brian Fallon (you handsome devil), me too.}

Hatch Show Print Shop

[The visual stylings of the legendary Hatch Show Print shop.]

I've always wanted to own my own screenprinting studio and just make tour posters all day. It just seems like that would be "livin' the dream." This dream was founded when I walked into the legendary Hatch Show Print Shop for the first time back in my days as a Nashvillain (not the correct term for someone from Nashville, but isn't it way cooler?); Everyone there was cooler than any other combined workforce I'd ever seen and they were all just hanging out, exercising their creative muscles, working with their hands on letterpresses from the 1800s, with Johnny Cash playing on the old radio sitting on the front desk. Living. The. Dream.

[The walls of the shop are covered from floor to ceiling in posters.]

[The back of the shop where all the magic happens. Hatch Show still uses the same presses they used when they first opened.]

Hatch Show Print was established in 1879 in Nashville, TN by brothers Charles and Herbert Hatch. They learned the trade from their pops who owned his own print shop in Wisconson. The brothers kept the tradition and passed the business along down to their kids who took over in the mid 1920's. Nashville was, and still is, country music central and Hatch Show Print capitalized on this, making posters for almost every act that came through there from Johnny Cash to Hank Williams to modern day acts like DMB. It didn't hurt that they were based right behind the mecca of country music, the Ryman Auditorium where the Grand Ole Opry was held. Hatch Show struggled through the years to survive in a digital age, but through the help of many people it is still around today and is one of the oldest working print and letterpress shops in the U.S. Today they still print their traditional music posters (they've printed posters for bands like John Mayer, Merle Haggard, Eric Clapton, Louis Armstrong, Death Cab For Cutie, The Raconteurs, Lou Reed, Smashing Pumpkins, Interpol, Ted Nugent and everyone in between) but their client list has also grown to include names like Nike, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Jack Daniels and more. Not too shabby, eh? I think there's something to be said about holding onto the craftsmanship of letterpress and printing while everyone else switched to offset. It's kind of sad that there trades and crafts are a rarity.

[More posters. Click to enlarge.]

Hatch Show's website sucks. If you go there looking for proof of the above amazingness, you will be very disappointed. The Country Music Hall of Fame is in charge of Hatch these days, and I just imagine the CMHF as being run by a bunch of old geezers with boleros and ten gallon Stetsons on Hover Rounds. (You're probably going to have to google every other word in that last sentence if you've never lived in the South.) Anyone over 60 with a bolero collection and a license to drive a Hover Round is almost definitely the last person you want running your website, although they're the first person you'd want for a jolly old grandpappy. But go your nearest public library and pick up the book Hatch Show Print: The History of a Great American Poster Shop (hopefully they'll have it in stock) for proof. I own it and it was worth every penny. If that fails, just google "Hatch Show Print" and "legendary" and you're sure to find more proof than Horatio Caine and Columbo have in their whole fictitious careers combined. That's a lot of proof.

And did I mention they also have their own vino? Look for it the next time your at Target. I almost lost my mind when I saw it there for the first time. It was a little piece of Nashville that had somehow managed to find me all the way across the country in Orange County, California and it reminded me of home. If there were a soundtrack to my life, Ryan Adam's "Oh My Sweet Carolina" would have been playing at that moment. "Oh the sweetest winds they blow across the south."

Here's the latest update on the painting. Have a great Monday friends.

- Amy

On my iTunes: Honorary Title's "Petals"

Def Leppard, David Bowie and Dopplegangers

I am intrigued by dopplegangers (That means people who have a look-a-like, famous or otherwise. Geez, get your mind out of the gutter.) Maybe it's because I'm a twin, maybe it's because I read too much US Weekly and People Magazine, but either way the other day I saw one that almost made me fall out of my chair I was laughing so hard. Yep, the amazing yet terrifying one featured above in Fig. 1: Tilda Swinton and David Bowie.

My twin sister Jen is a contributing writer for a blog called TheSkrilla.com, and she has a feature called The Lineup that features a new list every Friday of great pop culture info. This week, stumped for a topic to blog on, she sought me out for inspiration/ideas. Having just discovered that Tilda and Ziggy were long-lost twins seperated at birth apparently, I suggested a list of hilarious celebrity dopplegangers [see Fig. 2]. The end result is here. Enjoy!

- Amy

On my iPod: Def Leppard's "Rock of Ages"

Watch the sweet video for it here and notice how much it resembles Spinal Tap. Interviewed Phil Collen, Def Leppard's guitarist, today and he even verified that the similarities were uncanny. Steve Clark even has the profile of Nigel Tuffnel now that I look at it. Wierd.

Painting Progress, Vintage Finds, and Chet Baker

[Matt is coming together! Click to enlarge]

It's labor day weekend and I am bound and determined to get a big chunk done on this painting. I finished the hand the other day which took way longer than I expected, but hey, progress is progress. Thought I'd post this before I get started on Matt's mug. Faces always scare me. Well, you know what I mean - painting faces. It's mostly when I'm trying to depict someone well known or someone who I know well, because it's really apparent when I mess up since the face is so recognizable to me.

My sister always posts what's inspiring her on her blog, so being twins I believe I will steal her idea and take it for my own. We share everything else. So these are the things interesting me/inspiring me/getting the cogs turning:

[My snazzy new bag.]

1. Villains Vintage in Orange:

This place has the best vintage finds! And it's cool because on the tag of each item is written the era that the item is from. I like being well informed about the credibility of my vintage items. My sister and I just stumbled upon this local gem while on our way to another vintage shop in Orange on the circle. So glad we did, because I found this great bag. It's a leather bowling ball bag with Myan details and imagery worked into it. I know, Myans on a bowling team... sounds hilarious. But here's the bag to prove it.

The owner of the store was so nice too. He gets new items in daily, and he's got a great facebook campaign going too, post a photo of you in your new old duds from Villains Vintage on their fanpage and get 15% off your next purchase. Genius.

[Chet Baker]

2. Chet Baker.

Studly, talented, brooding and tortured... what's not to love? He was constantly battling his own personal demons.

"I was up all night developing when the face appeared in the developing tray. A tough demeanor and a good physique but an angelic face with pale white skin and, the craziest thing, one tooth missing -- he'd been in a fight. I thought, my God, that's Chet Baker! "

- William Claxton, photographer on Chet's missing tooth

- Amy

Listening to: Chet Baker's "Let's Get Lost"

Always Be A Good Boy

Here's an oldie but goodie; one of the first prints I ever did in my screenprinting class back when I was a student at the Rest Stop of Life otherwise known as Saddleback Community College. [Long pregnant pause for musings on my misspent youth and how I almost never got back on the road from that 5 year rest stop. You just pull over for a quick snack and to hit the john, and before you know it, it's 5 years later and you forgot where you were heading in the first place. Has this analogy gone way too far yet?] That was such a fun class and I met so many cool people. If you ever take a class at Saddleback, I highly recommend taking Screenprinting with Will. He's barely over college age himself, and comes to class with purple mohawks and punk tees on. Anyways, this is my first print using rubylith, and it's a drawing from Johnny Cash's mug shot. It's called "Always Be A Good Boy," a line from "Folsom Prison Blues." I want to do more art based on vintage mug shots - famous people or otherwise.

Below are a few videos for your viewing pleasure. The first is Johnny playing San Quentin. [Authors Note: I actually got to interview Merle Haggard for the magazine I work for recently because he was playing a show in town - and did you know that amongst all the inmates of San Quentin during the first San Quentin show was ole' Merle? It was what inspired him to start singing! Check out the interview here - his account of it all is much better than mine.] The second video is the first installment of a biography on the Man in Black. Man did he influence a lot of people. You HAVE to watch till the end. He does a hilarious impression of Elvis. Enjoy.

Amy

Listening to: Johnny Cash's "Cry, Cry, Cry"

Dennis Hopper at MOCA

I believe in the saying "share the wealth." There is nothing worse than some multi-talented, renaissance man/woman stealing more than their share of genius from the cosmic pool. Prime examples include Natalie Portman (talented and successful actress, beautiful, and a Harvard grad), Zoey Deschanel (talented and successful actress, beautiful, and now with a band and records to prove it), Jay-Z (epic rapper, owner of his own clothing line Roca Wear, owner of the NJ Nets [lets hope they fair better this season], and married to Beyonce), and Clint Eastwood (amazing actor, director, and musician/composer). I mean, leave some for the rest of us. [Insert heavy sigh here.] I recently found out that I can add Dennis Hopper to this list of over accomplishers. Turns out the rebel actor was also a director - and get this - an artist. When I say artist, I don't mean he dabbled here or there for a brief time; I mean full-fledged, scaping body of work, master of every medium artist.

The Museum of Contemporary Art in LA currently has Hopper's work on display. The exhibit is called "Double Standard" and it features an array of Hopper's work throughout his life. Hopper worked with the museum to put the show together, but unfortunately did not live to see it's completion. When describing Hoppers work, you could use all the adjectives that characterized the late, great actor: counter-culture, edgy, yet oozing talent. His photographs were amazing. He photographed everyone from Jane Fonda to Martin Luther King Jr. to Andy Warhol. I love his subject matter: anything counter culture. Artists, musicians, revolutionaries, change, rebels. My sister described it perfectly: "Hopper took blunt photos of the people who punctuated a golden age of cinema and cool. He wasn't a threat, he was one of them. His closeness allowed him to freeze-frame intimate, genuine, hilarious moments of people who we usually only saw in an affected and poised way."

The other amazing thing was that Dennis Hopper always considered himself a jack of all trades, but master of none. He considered himself an amateur at everything he did.

"There are moments that I’ve had some real brilliance, you know. But I think they are moments. And sometimes, in a career, moments are enough. I never felt I played the great part. I never felt that I directed the great movie. And I can’t say that it’s anybody’s fault but my own.” - Dennis Hopper

After moseying through the exhibit, my lovely twin sister Jennifer Hood and I exited through the gift shop (a movie you must see by the way), picked up a book of his photos (Dennis Hopper: Photographs 1961-1967, (MOCA Edition)) and headed out to find some dinner. After an hour of checking out the city (a.k.a getting lost and then stuck in the traffic jam surrounding the Sunset Strip Music Festival) we happened upon the legendary Canter's Restaurant on Fairfax in West Hollywood. Turns out this diner and it's adjacent Kibitz Room bar and club are brimming with rock n' roll history. Jakob Dylan used to play the Kibitz Room every Tuesday night, and Guns N' Roses were fed by the Canter family (who's son grew up BFF's with Slash) until they hit it big. If any of this doesn't check out, blame our good friend/waiter/rock n' roll historian, Daniel at Canter's. To this day, you can head down to the Kibitz Room any night of the week and enjoy live music with no cover charge while soaking in a little bit of history.

Feeling sufficiently inspired, I will leave you all with some of my fav Hopper pieces from the show and a couple of snapshots from of our night/adventure and get back to my painting-in-progress.

Amy

Listening to: The Band's "Atlantic City"

[Jen in front of MOCA with her new book in hand.]

[Me getting touristy in front of the exhibit.]

[Claes Oldenburg (Portrait with Cake Slices), 1966]

[Jane Fonda with bow and arrow, Malibu, 1965]

[Double Standard (for which the exhibit was named), 1961]

[Biker Couple, 1961]

[Ed Ruscha, 1964]

[Bruce Connor (in tub), Toni Basil, Teri Garr, and Ann Marshall, 1965]

[The famous Canter's]